"What in the world could you be doing in there for that long!" She said for the umpteenth time nearly kicking down the door. "I gotta pee so bad I'm going to explode!" I respond with a calm and simple "I do some of my best thinking in here.”
It has become my favorite room in the house. A spot where I can go to be alone with my thoughts. Enjoy a cup of coffee. Depending on the time of day I may even finish a beer. This is a place where I can skim through various social media outlets, catch up on my library book or even come up with the idea to write this very post -- I may have even written half of it while in here.
The bathroom is my office. And during Office Hours I get some of my best work done. Getting zen in the bathroom is a part of my routine and I look forward to it. Every morning I budget time before my hectic commute — a bike ride lining beach — to take care of business (if you know what I mean) but to also reply to emails, send birthday wishes, play Words with Friends against my uncles, pay bills wirelessly and plot my day.
Since we have opposite schedules my Office Hours usually are not an issue for us. Jamie doesn't have to get up for another hour after I have already left for work. On a rare weekend we are both off is usually when it creates a disturbance. Moving forward with our life together we will eventually have to have at least 2 offices. I do respect that she has to go in there, but I do give fair warning before I enter. “You may not see me for a while.” I pause like a sergeant going into battle. I look up to the sky for dramatic effect as I secure my iPad under my arm. Sleep dust crusted in the corner of my eyes and my hair sticking up in every direction from my glorious slumber, “This one might be hell. Burritos last night. A black coffee and Raisen Bran. What was I thinking?" Pausing to bite my lower lip pretending I'm about to cry for more dramatic effect. "And I have to come up with a 80 point word against Uncle Phil. I love you. Wish me luck.” I kiss her head as she scoffs in disgust. “You are so gross.” Waving me off, “I love you too.” As the door closes and I am at peace.
List of (some) Accomplishments during Office Hours:
- YourFriendMatt.com was created here.
- Making countless and accurate grocery lists.
- Applying to college.
- Canceling cable.
- Viewing and Completing Season 3 of Breaking Bad.
- Paying bills, trading stocks and chats with my financial advisor.
- Planning birthdays and family functions.
- Nearly every call I have had with any customer service agent...ever.
- Obligatory crossword puzzles.
Need I say more? Don't act like you aren't viewing this from a Facebook post on your toilet right now.