“Oh, man. My bad. At least you know he is hydrated.” - Some Dad
Returning from a lunch break, I hit the restroom to relieve myself before getting back to work. Standing at the urinal doing my business another group of individuals wander into the bathroom. A dad and I assumed his children from the sounds. Using proper guy-code-restroom-edicate I didn’t turn around to check it all out. You never turn around. Just keep your eyes on your business. My urinal was next to one of the stalls. As I was looking down, I saw little sneakers in my peripheral vision from the stall next to me. I assumed routine dad bathroom business as he needed to help his son. Except this time I didn't see a pair adult size sneakers slide into my peripheral. "No big deal." I thought.
A second later, I thought I was bleeding. I felt a hot streak across ankle and foot. I looked down to make sure I was okay. At this point, I am still going. As Lloydd Christmas said "I can't stop once I've started. It stings!" After further inspection of my foot, it seems there was a clear liquid on it. And then another hot streak...and another. I guess this kid was just pretending he was a front yard sprinkler swaying and pissing wherever he wanted. I froze. I didn't know what to do. I have never been peed on before. I got out a subtle "Uh? Stop! Please. Don't pee on me!" trying to zip up, back up and see where the hell this kids dad was.
It turns out the dad was in the other stall, helping his other son and trusted his 2-year-old to aim on his own. He came out of the stall as I looked at him. Not knowing what else to do I pointed at my pee-covered foot. "Oh, man. You peed on yourself?" was the dad's first response. I thought to myself, "If I had peed on myself why the hell would I tell you?" This is a weird day. I told him it was not my pee and he responded with an inquisitive "You sure?" I just stared at him in disbelief trying to hold back my confusion and displeasure of having someone I don't knows pee on me, I pointed to the bathroom floor where it looked like someone spilled a glass of water. "Oh, man." He said...again. This guys temperate was that of a high 16-year-old drop out. "Well, at least you know he is hydrated!" And gave a little chuckle.
He offered to clean my foot and this is when I chose to leave the bathroom. I don't know if I could have handled the weirdness of a kid I don't know peeing on me and a guy I don't know washing my foot in a public bathroom. Does this kind of stuff ever happened to you?
Moving forward I will probably just wait to use the handicap accessible stalls from now on.