Matt Bates

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“Take care of the planet, man.” - Winter 2018 - Ventura, CA

“Take care of the planet, man.” - Winter 2018 - Ventura, CA

Trash Woman...

January 06, 2019 by Matt Bates

"Fuck you. You'll get over it." - Woman who threw trash out of her car window at me.

Imagine if you will a land in the future. The year is 2019 and although humankind still has it short comings, a huge population of the species strives to leave the world better than they found it. We have the ability to reduce and recycle, smart devices make life more efficient, and modern science continues to take us to further exploration of space unknown. We can do incredible things if we wanted to, and some of use are. Why would you not want to be apart of the solution and contribute to that? There are still some of us that are still lost.

Last night it was raining. My incredible wife, Jamie, was gracious enough to come get me from work because I normally ride my bike. It is dangerous to ride your bike in the rain in Southern California. Rain never happens here so people kind of lose their minds when it does. I work in a heavily trafficked area so I usually opt to meet her a few blocks away at the supermarket so its easier for us to meet up and load my bike in the van. When I got there a woman in a blue minivan was parked a few spots away from where I was meeting Jamie in the supermarket parking lot. As I loaded my bike I noticed the woman, without care, open her car door and throw a crumpled, greasy, brown bag of fast food trash on the ground like it was nothing. Take it to the trash or recycling bin 10 feet away? No, throwing your garbage around the parking lot seems appropriate. I was stunned.

She and I made quick eye contact and I pointed at the trash with a puzzled look on my face so I decided to mouth, "I think you dropped something." Boy, she didn't like that. She responded with an excited, "Fuck you, you hippie! They clean the parking lot nightly, you'll fucking get over it!" I was stunned. She actually believed that throwing trash on the ground was the right thing to do because someone would clean up her mess for her. Folks, there are people on Earth, in the United States, that think this is appropriate behavior. What have we become.

Before I could get another word out my beautiful, yet scrappy, wife lost her damn mind. She doesn't like when people talk to me that way. Jamie replied to the woman with, "Are you fucking kidding me, bitch! Fuck you! Fucking get out of here." The woman sped off. She didn't make it far to the next traffic light. It was actually kind of funny, she talked this big game and told us she was going to kick our asses, then sped off just to have to wait at the stop light. It was instant Karma, she just sat at the light embarrassed. Jamie yelled inside our van, "Wow, you got really far, bitch! Fuck you!" I kept my eyes on the woman, and she did the same, while I walked over, picked up her greasy bag of trash, and put it into the recycling. She flipped me off from the traffic light.

All joking and funny banter aside. We have to do better. We cannot continue to act this way. I don't know what the solve is, but we have to hold each other accountable to a high standard. I hope wherever the woman in the blue van is she is thinking about our interaction and potentially will think about her actions, but sadly, probably not. She will more than like continue to go to Jack in the Box, get something off the value menu, and throw her trash in the streets, which is just an awful way to go through life.

-YourFriendMatt

January 06, 2019 /Matt Bates
reduce, recycle, humor, sunday, blog, california, los angeles, rei, patagonia
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I wonder what the open container laws are here?

I wonder what the open container laws are here?

Gone Green...

March 29, 2015 by Matt Bates

California takes recycling seriously. This was a huge culture shock when we moved. It is a good thing that the culture here takes recycling so serious, but took some getting use too. Heaven forbid you put a napkin in the wrong trash bin around here. "Don't you realize what you have done! That napkin takes 6 weeks to decompose! If we recycle it we can have it back by the end of the week!" This is a typical response from some blonde haired, flip flop wearing, sunglass sporting hippie. It's amazing how they seem to pop out of nowhere to discuss going green like they are a Trash Fairy-God-Mother. I usually back away slowly, apologize and think to myself "Shouldn't he be at work? How can they just guard the trash can all day?"

Deciding to embrace the recycling mentality we started sorting our paper products and I decided to keep all our aluminum and glass. There is a recycling center next to our local supermarket that will pay you to bring your recyclables. Boom. Make money? Enjoy adult beverages? Go green? This is probably the best thing I could do for the environment. Mother nature would be proud.

"You say alcoholism. I say go green." - A Wise Man.

"You say alcoholism. I say go green." - A Wise Man.

It takes us about 5-6 months to get a decent amount of aluminum and glass worth taking down to the recycle center. The only thing is a majority of our recyclables are beer and wine containers. This makes me look like a raging alcoholic every time I go. When the local transients who spend their time dumpster diving and yelling at beach seagulls start shooting me looks I know I have done a good job. "Son, do you need help." one of them asked me once with genuine concern and I responded with "Gee, I don't know." Adding a long pause for effect "Yeah, I guess I could." Another Pause, "Grab an end! This stuff is heavy!"

Always remember recycling is good. And recycling, drinking and getting paid is even better. 

Did you know it takes a year for a wool sock to decompose? What does that even mean? Who's throwing out a wool sock?

March 29, 2015 /Matt Bates
california, go green, recycle, reuse, beer, alcohol, money, miller high life, pabst, wine, napa valley, humor, comedy, los angeles, sam adams, victory
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