Chocolate Covered Tampon...

 "Ew, what is that!" She yelled as I replied with "I don't know just pull it out!"

We don't know why but our dog loves to find anything in the trash with our scent on it...especially the most gross scents. Jamie and I had been out food shopping this past week leaving our dog, Piper, alone in the house. We try to put anything dangerous to her up high and throw away any trash in the proper receptacle...as anyone with common sense would. We even close the bathroom door when we leave so she can't get into the bin we have in there for all things gross. 

Arriving home after food shopping we opened the door to a grotesque scene looking like piper had killed a small bird on our rug. "What the hell happened in here? Did she catch a mouse?" I state as I go in for a closer look. Turns out I was wrong, as I tend to be. This small bird happened to be a heavy flow tampon Piper found...flowed on...with a trail of tissue and q-tips leading from the bathroom. Wonderful. "Welp." Shrugging "Looks like we forgot to close the bathroom door." turning to Jamie who is mortified. Rightfully so. I couldn't help but notice...not all of the tampon was there. "Hey? Did she eat most of that tampon?" In the most respectful and inquisitive voice I could muster.  She didn't know what to say and immediately ran to get paper towels to clean this mess up. Another afternoon here at Casa de Bates.

A day had past and we were worried if she did in fact eat the tampon some of it would hurt her or obstruct her intestines. I couldn't help but wonder "Isn't that it's job? To clog things up?" After another day had past and Piper was acting completely normal we thought we were in the clear. Nobody ever wants an expensive vet visit. We went to go see the sunset a few nights later and were greeted by our usual excited pup arriving home after. She jumped up and down on my leg and then went to greet Jamie. As Piper turned I noticed something unusual with her walk....and there was a white string hanging out of her. "Holy shit, Jamie please check out Piper's butt." Yes. It is what you think it is and thats the point of this whole thing. Jamie pulled a used tampon, let me rephrase that, her used tampon out of our dog. "Welp, Pipe. I guess were blood sisters now." She stated.

I love this woman.

YourFriendMatt

Spring cleaning...

It only took 4 months but we finally threw our Christmas Tree out. I don't think it fits...where's that saw...

YourFriendMatt

Moving Day...

Last week Ryan told me he was moving. "Totally awesome new place on the beach man! I am so pumped!" As a friend this is one if the last things you want to hear because an important question immediately follows up with that statement. The dreaded "Hey are you free this weekend?" Which translates to "Dude, please help me, I would do it for you...Come on! I'll buy you lunch! Just help me lift this fucking couch!" I let him plead his case, asked what actually has to be moved and where. Turns out we weren't going far, he didn't have that much, and beer was guaranteed. 

I arrived to his house on a hot, sunny Sunday afternoon. We were only moving him about a half a mile away. The biggest thing is his futon, no big deal. I figured he would have some sort of truck to get everything moved in one swoop. Wrong again, as I tend to be. My friend Ry drives a yellow Lotus convertible with trunk space the size of a shoe box. What the hell are we going to fit in that?

This is Ry...and the vehicle he thought would be good for moving...he is brilliant...at least he had beer...

Ry's car is so small that I, at 6' 2" stature, cannot fully fit into it and my legs do not fully stretch out in either of the seats. "How the hell are we supposed to move this crap when I can barely fit in this car." I ask. Ry is not the best critical thinker and he shrugged at this question. What else could we do?...We had a beer while we tried to figure this out. We knew we were going to have to get the futon moved and were stumped on how we were going to do it. Our friend Jeff stopped by while we were thinking of solutions for this problem. "Why don't you guys just water-taxi the futon over?" Jeff said. All of our eyes lit up. Ry lives on the Venice canals in LA and has 2 canoes... best idea ever right? We all ran to the canals to size up the canoes. A collective "This has to work" conversation broke out and we excitedly got on our way to execute our plans.

With a quick buzz and a new sense of accomplishment we decided we had to make one trip before our water adventure. The first trek we thought we would put as much in the trunk "space" as possible, sit me in the passenger seat, close the door and then pack more stuff on top of me through the roof. Sounds good right? Now that we were packed we set sail for a 2 minute drive around the corner to get his stuff moved to his new beach front house.

We both forgot it was St. Patricks Day weekend and it took us an hour to go less than 6 blocks...gotta love LA...all while it was 90 degrees out...with suitcases crushing me...and Rys gas light was on from the moment we left. To break down now would be poetic.

Finally arriving at Ry's new place we unpacked and I met Ry's roommate Scuba Steve. Turns out Steve is a photographer and when we told him about our plan to water-taxi a futon on 2 small canoes he wanted to document the whole thing.

Determination. stevenjayphoto.com...really rad stuff

We decided the car was now worthless and left it at Ry's new place. It only took us 6 minutes to walk back. "We should have just walked. " We both agreed. We quickly got the futon out back to the boats, tied it securely with guitar quarter inch cable (true band guys...it's all we had), and set sail to victory. 

"I can't believe how well this is working!" We kept yelling at each other paddling and taking chugs from our Pabst pounders we secured at the corner Asian market before our voyage. Everyone walking the canals clapped, cheered us on and Steve snapped photos. "It's to crowded to take the roads! We're taking to the sea!" Ry would yell to a passerby and slug his beer. "Yeah! It's moving day!" I would yell after him choking on a swig. At the end of our trek we still had to get the futon out of the canoes and carry it 2 more blocks...and we did so with passion and fury....mainly fueled by the beer.

stevenjayphoto.com

I still ill don't know where my shoes are but that is neither here nor there. Tales like this are what true friendship is all about. Ry is now happily moved in and loving his new location. We spent the rest of the night walking the beach, eating mexican food and drinking champagne. Not too bad. I think there is two morals to this story. First you can make any task, no matter how shitty it is...like helping your friend move, and make it an adventure. Secondly, when your friend asks him to help you move make sure he has beer.

YourFriendMatt

Piper...

"What the hell happened to her mouth?" was all I could say as I saw the four pound, squirrel-like, fur-ball sitting at my feet. Her tongue hanging out of her cocked head staring up at me...

Jamie and I had a rare lazy Sunday off together. Our weekly work schedules never match up so we wanted to make sure we got the most out of the day. Flea Market? Brunch? Beers? Early dinner in and an old movie? It was all on the agenda.

A cloudless sunny morning set the tone for our day and we wanted to make sure we got the most out of it. Luckily for me the local pet adoption was having an open house in a parking lot on Main Street that we had to check out...according to Jamie. Bastards. It's like they had it planned and knew we were coming. We ambled through the vacant lot of misfit animals and their misfit volunteers holding their leashes. I turned my back for a second to stare at a three legged-pit bull and Jamie was gone. I was hoping she was on the other side of the fence ready for brunch but I could not have been more wrong. I almost tripped over her. She was coiled into a ball on the oil stained parking lot asphalt clinging and cottling something furry.

"This ones got a real sad story. She needs a good home. She was thrown from a car when she was a puppy and someone found her on the side of the road. Her jaw was broken and may never close." Pausing for dramatic effect, tisking and shaking her head. She knew what she was doing. She was good. Damn it. "And needs a good home." Said the overweight college drop out peering over her black rimmed hipster glasses "But she is such a cutie!" Jamie looked up from the ground to her with an enthusiastic "Yes! She does need a good home!" She turned and stared at me as I tried talking down off the pet adoption ledge but I knew I was screwed. "IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!" was all I kept hearing muffled over kissing noises "Matt, we need her." And thats when I knew I was totally screwed. I manage to talk Jamie into leaving the parking lot...not after she gathered all the pamphlets and information she would need to surely adopt this animal...with or without discussing it with me.

A few days had gone by. We were back to our work week. No dog. "Yes!" having a conversation with myself walking from the driveway one night "Maybe she forgot about it." As I pushed the door open I couldn't have been more wrong...again. "Matt, don't be mad. She needed a good home..."

YourFriendMatt

YourFriendMatt...com

I didn't go to school, I don't have a literature, journalism, or any other degree...or any piece of paper that qualifies me to write. But this is a blog. And most importantly my blog...so I can kinda do what I want. Like use words like "kinda" instead of "kind of." Please feel free to comment about how I misuse most words, punctuations, make ridiculous claims that can't be backed by any facts, curse to much, and can't spell. 

That being said and now that we have the proper expectations set...

I am Matt, a guy who values honesty, family, and friendship. During my 26 years on this planet I have built a positive lifestyle by surrounding myself with the best people I could find. This will be a place where I write down ideas, share stories and thoughts, display music and films I have written with my friends. I am a guy who likes to journal and write...If you are down with that then this is the place for you. I don't like taking life too seriously and try to laugh and smile as much as possible. 

I recently moved to Santa Monica to break out of my comfort zones and see what else the world has to offer. I love everyone at home in Philadelphia. They are my rock, support, and family. If all goes to hell I can make one call and have a safe place to stay there. Knowing that I wanted to take a shot and stand on my own two legs (3,000 miles away) to see what the hell I am capable of...plus the weather is nice here...Philadelphia is currently covered in 8 inches of snow.

Share the love, smile, and be positive.

YourFriendMatt

Welcome and thank you for checking in! This page is still under construction so please excuse me as things will be changing and added within the next few weeks. Please stay tuned and check out some of the music and videos posted around the site!