The Moose...

What is it about windowless, wood-paneled, dark rooms that reek of stale beer and bad ideas that remind me of home? 

Recently I joined a neighborhood softball team put together by my landlord. The average age of player is 50. It is essentially an excuse for us to play softball for an hour once a week, and then go drinking at the local bars.

This past week we went to the local moose lodge. With all the glitz and glamour of any moose lodge, I was excited to see a bar without palm trees or a beach theme. This place was even complete with a chain-smoking, elder bartender who has been there since the 60's. She knows everyone by name and bust's everyone's ball's. I couldn't tell if she was flirting with me or if she hated me. It was fantastic. Such a great refresher back to the Philadelphia area vibe I prefer.

If you plan on visiting, we will be visiting The Moose...

-YourFriendMatt

Let's Write...

I don't know why but it seems crazy people are attracted to me. Recently I was sitting on the bluffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean working on some ideas. With my Moleskine in tow, I paced, trying to figure out a personal problem. I sat down and stared at the sea when a squirrelly transient took a seat next to me. A short, "Hey" squeaked out of him as I awkwardly turned his direction. "You know there are plenty of benches around here." Rolled through my head but all I got out was a short responsive, ”Hey.” 

"Want to write something with me?" He asked as I looked around for a camera filming us. This had to be a set up. He coughed, ”Look, you already have a book. Let's write." I mean, I guess he made sense. I took off my sunglasses and replied "Okay. What do you want to write?” I was in a fun mood. What the hell else did I have to do? This guy was brought into my life for some reason right? Let's figure it out. This opened can of worms that lead to a pretty fun story. He started telling me about the marines that were 100 yards off-shore, underwater, ready for us when we “disobey” and that the Santa Monica Pier wasn’t a pier at all but a portal to another dimension. “So, you want to write a Sci-Fi Thriller?” I responded. “Listen, man! Don’t get caught!” He barked and rose from the seat running away looking through me, as if I was a demon…or there was one behind me.

Something like this happens to me at least two times a month. I guess I just have that welcoming "I am just as bat shit crazy as you are" look about me.

Remember. Don’t get caught.

-YourFriendMatt

This one is on us...

Jamie and I were sitting at the bar enjoying our time off together when I heard "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" I turned to see a petite girl standing there. 

Another great night of playing music was in the books. We played the Santa Monica pier overlooking the beach, waves and Malibu. We had finished our set and were done loading out our gear. Everyone was heading their separate ways as the night winded down. I still had an open tab at the bar so Jamie and I decided to stay for a drink before we headed home. While we sat to watched the next band finishing our drinks a red-lipped, 20-something bar-girl approached us and asked to buy us drinks. "Hell yeah!" I said without skipping a beat. Jamie looked confused and the girl picked up on it. "I work for Bud Light and we are out sponsoring a new promotion. You guys look adorable so enjoy!" And she scampered away as fast as she had appeared. I, already perusing the beer list, found myself an IPA and Jamie shrugged and ordered a Bud Light. 

We finished the drinks and we were about to close out to head home. Bud Light girl reappeared again like a beer-fairy-god-mother. "One more on us for these two!" She said and handed us free coozies and blue, Bud Light sunglasses. "One thing though, can we get a picture of you two and possibly ask you a question?" She asked as I replied with, "If you're buying I'll tell you whatever you want!" Throwing on the sunglasses and striking a pose for their camera guy. As it turns out I guess they are running a promotion for summer bucket lists and wanted to know if there was anything crazy that we wanted to accomplish before the end of the summer. “Damn.” I replied “You going to be here for a while? I will need to think about this.” My mind exploding with options of insane things I could do with Bud Lights money funding it.

Buzzed Summer Bucket List Bar Brain Storming Session:

• Play drums with Motley Crue and then convince them to let me join the band.
• Skydive with Jay and Silent Bob.
• Fly Jamie and I’s family out for an all expense paid trip to Disneyland.
• Go to space.
• Lunch with Mel Brooks.
• Lunch with Dave Grohl
• Lunch with the cast of Can’t Hardly Wait.
• Lunch with Hall and Oates.
• Lunch with Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox discussing their lives and then go play bass for Blink 182 at an arena…where they ultimately ask me to join the band.

My drunken brain went with the last option, as I thought this was the most feasible, as we ran to find the Bud Light girl. They did a video recording of my wish on some tablet and submitted it to their database. “Yes. Score. Totally having lunch with Dr. Emmett L. Brown.” I whispered and we staggered away feeling victorious.

Remember, if someone asks to pick up your bar tab, always let them.

I wonder if that tablet video is online somewhere?

-YourFriendMatt

The dumb things I do with my Apple Watch…

I recently received my Apple Watch in the mail and I am already in love with it. Judge away. I tried to explain to a friend how important my tech is to me and he elegantly looked to the sky paraphrasing the Rifelman’s Creed, “This is my watch. There are many like it, but this one is mine.” Then he gave a salute. Insanity aside, I feel this accurately depicts how I feel about my tech. I know, I know, everyone is wondering why you need it or what the hell these things actually do. I guess I am an early adopter. I have been using it as a fitness tracker, which is something I never thought I would do. I have also replied to messages, viewed emails and stayed up-to-date with news all by raising my wrist. I don't even know where my phone is right now, I am doing everything from my arm. Apple Watch is pretty friggin' awesome. But, besides all the formal things you can do with it. What about some of those informal things you can do with it? Well, here you go, these are some of the informal things I do with my watch. 

New vehicle to send phallic drawings.

Dick pics for days...

What is the first thing I did when I turned on my watch? Send a penis drawing to anyone I could. I don’t care, I know I am not a kid anymore, but dick and fart jokes will never get old. Period.

Taking calls in the shower.

Gotta take this..

Why not? It’s 2015, why shouldn’t I be able to take a phone call or respond to a text while exfoliating my face? This is one of the weirdest things I am getting used to. Sure, you don’t have to take your watch in the shower, but I figured screw it, I am.

Running my metronome.

And it stayed on my wrist...

This is actually pretty productive. I mean, sending a phallus to your friends for fun is great too. I recently played with my friends in Lost Sons at the House of Blues in LA (and met Dan Aykroyd!). I play to a metronome in my in-ear monitors to create a consistent set. I ran the entire show from my wrist, changing tempos with my metronome app, cleverly named Metronome from my wrist. Green sports band and everything.

As more and more of these hit the market and more and more apps hit the Watch App store I am sure we will see even more weird shit people are doing with their wearable tech. I am an app junkie and always looking for new ones. Evidently there is a spin-the-bottle watch app, another watch app to track your moles, along with a Whack-a-Mole app (your choice), and even a Magic 8 Ball watch app. Here's to the future, if you need me, you can call me...in the shower.

Will today be a good day?....Thanks Magic 8 Ball...

-YouFriendMatt

Airstream Adventuring...

We set out on an adventure and found it. 

Airstreaming...

This year Jamie and I have made a commitment to continue our adventurous ways. We will schedule as many trips or over-nights, within our budget, at least once a month...if we can. 

Over the last year we uprooted our lives and moved 3,000 miles away from everything comfortable. We have seen our fair share of setbacks, poverty and have remained positive to come out on top. Now that we have laid a thin layer of roots down in Southern California we felt it is time to start seeing what was at our fingertips.

This past weekend we found an Airstream camper in the middle of nowhere on AirBNB. It was within our budget, close enough to home and just the right about of danger…or adventure…that we were comfortable with. As we pulled into the farm-like gates we were a little confused. Didn’t we move away from the country? I thought LA was a city? Evidently Malibu can get very country, very quickly. We found ourselves roaming scenic, winding roads until we finally found our destination. A scruffy mountain-man on an ATV greeted us with two humongous, matted rescue dogs as we pulled on a dirt path with our 2004 Ford Focus...not the ideal mountaineering car. But she is trusty.

“Hi! I am Matt and this is Jam…” I shouted from the rolled down drivers side window being cut off by his roaring, scratchy voice. He was trying to project his voice over his engine with a careless “Yeah, That’s great, kid! Follow that dirt path up about a mile!" Pointing aimlessly "You’ll find it! If you don’t, you’re a moron!” He cackled and drove off. "Welp, up that dirt path we go." As we shrugged at each other. Jamie and I found ourselves scaling this dirt path, on the side of a cliff at about a 45 degree angle. I caressed the dashboard and wiped the sweat from my brow exclaiming "Okay, Ol' Trusty. We have been through a lot, but please make it up this mountainside! Don't die on me now!" Our car engine was revving so hot that it sounded like it was going to fall out. Jamie looked to her right out the passenger side window as our tires spun inches away from what would certainly be our death if we made a wrong move. A pack of wild goats, no joke, I wish I had a picture, greeted us as we reach the top and then scampered off. A rounding curve led us directly to our home for the night.

This is called ‘glamping.’ A mix of the word glamour and camping, I assume. When you go on a camping adventure, but have most the amenities of home. This thing was running hot water, electricity, a refrigerator, shower, septic system, full oven and breathtaking view of the Santa Monica mountains. Our white-haired, scruffy host eventually made his way up the mountain on his ATV to greet us, his fellow scruffy friends by his side.  Without missing a beat he started with “Now, if you see any big black shadows moving around in the middle of the night don't be scared. It’s not the devil or a bear. It’s just the horses scrounging around.” I paused for a minute and followed excitedly with “You have wild horses roaming around here?” I asked as he replied with a short “You calling my horses wild?” I immediately shut up and let him show us in.

We unpacked, especially our cooler of beer and took a walk through Backbone Trail located right off our front door. For the rest of the night we unplugged playing Trivial Pursuit (which I lost), cooked a camping stew, listening to oldies and laughing together. Having no TV is a blessing. We often get so wrapped up in our daily that we forget to have a conversation.

To our surprise it rained overnight resulting a cloudy, misty morning as we shared coffee, staring out to the fresh, green hills littered with bright foliage and boulders. 

This dude...is ready to party...

Side-note: It started raining right after this photo was taken and we immediately started playing Uno...and quickly turned it into a drinking game...it was 9am. 

-YourFriendMatt