February...

I did an experiment in February. I wanted to break my routines. For the last decade, I believe I have probably had at least one beer every day. It became routine. It took up time. Maybe it made me lazy when I could have been working on something. Although I do not classify myself as a lazy person, I wanted to know if there was more I could be doing instead of sitting on the couch having a brew.

There was a lot of personal growth over the last few years. I advanced in my career that moved us across the country twice, gone back to school full-time, cultivated a lifestyle of positivity, go to the gym a few times a week, launched a creative blog that I update weekly, curate and publish weekly playlists for emerging artists, and still actively perform music. Sounds like a lot, but maybe there is more.

By checking social media, scrolling through thousands of pictures for extended periods of time, sitting on the couch and enjoying an adult beverage, I wondered how that was adding anything positive to my life. I was looking for a reset and February seemed to be a perfect time. My birthday is January 31st, so figured I could go out with a bang on my birthday and start fresh on February 1st. 

Breaking routines and mental queues is not easy, but I accomplished it. I went a full month with no social media, no credit cards and (strike up the band) no alcohol of any kind. Yikes. It was not as hard as I thought or seems. I found myself on my days off and weekends adventuring around Nashville a little bit more, taking up new hobbies, finding new restaurants and cafes instead of going to the local dive. 

It was a great reset. I read more. I took up rock climbing. I took more walks and explored the neighborhood. I took my dogs out more. I engaged in more conversations and even forgot my phone twice when I went to work. My credit score went up, and I got caught up on some minor debts that I wanted to pay off. I saved a bunch of money that I would have used to grab some beer and paid off most of my Discover card. Unplugging was refreshing.

We are in March now, and I have noticed that a lot of the changes have impacted my routines. Since my February detox, I am more aware of how often I pick up my phone and check it for no reason at all. I have found myself in March just standing with my phone and wondering why I even picked it up. Going to the fridge and grabbing a beer or even buying beer isn't top of mind (for the most part - I love beer). It is interesting to see how a few minor changes can open your eyes and that is what I was looking to do in February.

I celebrated with friends on March 1st and went back to the bar. It was fun, and I do love having drinks with friends, sharing posts and photos and seeing less debt when I open up my financial apps. Now I am more conscience about how many times I am checking my phone. I feel I notice myself doing it less, reminding myself to put the phone down and look up to see the awesomeness that is going on around me.

Now, who wants to grab a beer?

-YourFriendMatt

Breaking and changing habits can be hard. If you want to see how many times you check your phone every day, download this app Checky. It may blow your mind.

Social Media Hiatus...

I spend way too much time scrolling on my iPhone. When I calculate the time I spend looking through Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and all the other time wasters I use too many times a day, it blows my mind. This February I will be taking a break from social media to lift my head from the screen to see whats going on around me. Who knows maybe I will write more, read more or even work on the book I swear I am going to finish. Maybe I will spend more time running, meditating, hiking, working on projects in the house, finding new restaurants or walking around the neighborhood. Maybe I will be completely lost and go through withdraw, who knows. This hiatus challenge I want to stick to and get plugged back into my surroundings instead of seeing what pop culture is up too. It’ll be interesting to hear about new music, movies, shows and other things I am interested in from my friends like I use to, rather than mindlessly scrolling through thousands of photo posts.

Let’s see what happens.

-YourFriendMatt

Finding Time To Read...

“Man, I have to take a speed reading class or something.” - Me.

It was brought to my attention that the average CEO reads about 4-5 books a month. If someone who runs a company, big or small, can cram hundreds of extra pages into 30 days, I think I can stop scrolling through Instagram to get a few pages in. I figured my goal would be to read at least one book a month this year. I know, not as aggressive as my entrepreneurial counterparts, but you have to start somewhere. So far I have been on track.

I started the year out with what I thought would be an easy read, absolutely biting off more than I could chew, with “Thinking, Fast and Slow” By Daniel Kahneman. This 512 page-turning thrill-ride (sarcasm intended) consumed my January, taking all my mental capabilities. I do not claim to be a smart man so, pretending I could understand the left and right side of the brain as my first read of the year was not smart. I will give it to me Kahneman though; it is written well, and I could tell he was trying his best to put it in layman terms. Once again, I am not a smart man. 

As January turned into February, I wanted to turn to something a little lighter. “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki fit the mold. If you have not read this and have any plan of running your finances, life or want to make radical outside-the-box decisions, I would strongly suggest starting here. Even if you do not agree with some ideas throughout “Rich Dad Poor Dad” it will, at least, leave you thinking. And, I think that is a good thing.

My read this month is “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott and was recommended to me by a mentor/peer at work. We were having a conversation about the development of veteran teammate and discussed what would an area they could improve on before taking the next step in their career. I immediately pointed out that I have never seen them have a hard conversation with anyone and boom…a day later this book was in my hand for them to read. Instead of immediately passing it along I figured I would give it a go first to see what I could get out of it. Only a few chapters deep right now and like I said before, even if you do not agree with some ideas throughout the book it will, at least, leave you thinking…and that’s a good thing.

-YourFriendMatt

The Average CEO Reads 4-5 Books Per Month By Refreshed Leadership

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott

Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

-YourFriendMatt

California Screamin'

"Man, that noise did not sound good." I thought to myself right before my coaster came to a screeching halt.

Yesterday Jamie and I went to Disneyland. If you follow my Instagram (@MattBates) this probably comes as no surprise. We are first time annual pass-holders and since we purchased the passes we have already be to Disneyland 12 times...in 10 weeks. That's roughly about $2,000 if we would have purchased regular tickets every time instead of getting annual passes...I think we're getting our money's worth.

We grabbed a beer as we walked through the park after eating a quick burrito dinner. I am getting good at reading the crowds of zombie-like, fatigued out-of-state vacationers trying to cram in as much as the park can offer on their yearly vacation. We strolled passed California Screamin'. Although it looked packed and would take an hour to get on the ride; it was just the crowd traffic around the area. The real wait time to get on the ride was only 10 minutes. This is very unusual for a Saturday where ride lines can take up to an hour and a half. I turned to Jamie excitedly, "We have to get on! You almost done your beer!" As it turned out she didn't want to get on a roller coaster 15 minutes after eating a burrito...followed up by a beer. I could see her point, but I have an iron stomach. She encouraged me to go my as a solo rider and we would meet up after. Taking advantage of the opportunity I kissed her forehead, downed my beer and ran off like a 5-year-old flailing my limbs around jumping for joy.

I quickly got through the line and when the cast member asked me how many were in my party so he could get me on the ride I told him I was a single rider. I also told him I would be willing to wait until the next ride went if I could sit in the front which he didn't mind. The ride I was suppose to be on shot off and I was next to sit front seat for this roller coaster. The coaster pulled in and the riders filed off. I shot Jamie a quick text before stepping on the ride to let her know I was about to go if she wanted to see me off. My phone back in my pocket I stepped on the ride, pulled down the safety bar and waited to be launched.

The ride released and we moved forward. California Screamin' stops right around the first corner so you can see the first incline you'll be flung over. This also gives you family members a good photo opportunity. Jamie stood looking over as I waved or gave her a thumbs up for the front row. The countdown started and I heard an awful metal screeching sound followed by a booming thud. Not normal. And not what you want to hear right before your roller coaster takes off. "Okay Screamers! Ready in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!" Echoed over the sound system as our coaster stayed stationary. I looked over to Jamie and shrugged. "Okay Screamers! Ready in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!" Again over the sound system and nothing. I started to look around as if I was being punked. "Okay Screamers! Ready in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!" Nothing again but more horrible metal grinding sounds. On-lookers stared at us on the ride as we all tried to play it off like we weren't kind of scared in a Final Destination kind of way. This was starting to worry me but we all remained in good spirits. The suspense was started in the build. In my head I started to think what if this thing really is broke? How the hell are we going to get out of here? I mean, I am sure we will be fine right? This is Disney. They know what they are doing? Right? Besides, I am kind of like Macgyver, I can fix this. 

Although it was probably a routine maintenance problem for Disneyland it scared the crap out of me. We probably only sat for a few moments before the ride finally released but it felt like an eternity. I did enjoy the ride when it took off and will continue to go on it...repeatedly. But if I am being honest, I held on for dear life this time around. Even still, through a brief moment of uncertainty...you can't pass up giving the camera on the coaster a goofy face if you know where it is.

Kid behind me was not as pumped as I was...

Ever get stuck on a ride at an amusement park?

-YourFriendMatt

Dear Boy Review...

With an infectious on-stage presence, Dear Boy is making some serious moves in the California alt-rock scene.

The project that would eventually become Dear Boy came about in London when Scarlet Grey members Ben Grey and Keith Cooper started a new writing venture. It was intended to be the next step in Scarlet Grey’s musical progression, but engendered something completely different. Knowing that this new batch of songs couldn’t go on with the same band, Ben and Keith brought on Austin Hayman and Nils Bue, and Dear Boy was born. They released the five songs from London on their debut EP and the rest is history in the making. While their latest songs are a collaborative product from all four members, it still follows the path that Keith and Ben had started in London.

To be honest, when I first heard the name “Dear Boy”, I pictured a crop of cute indie chicks smoothly serenading their ex-lovers – what I discovered instead was a paradoxical stream of melodic yet energetic beats with hints of pop-punk and indie rock with some new flavor sprinkled on top. So where did the name come from? The names credit actually goes to a British gal who waited on a homesick half-band in creative limbo. During their London trip, Keith and Ben were out to eat on Thanksgiving. As you (hopefully) know, Thanksgiving isn’t really a “thing” in London, unless you come across some Yankee ex-pats. The waitress referred to them as “dear boys” and something about the name got into their blood and it was clear that this was the name for their next chapter.

2015 is shaping up to be a great year for these dear boys. They have already played a slew of shows, having kicked off March with a few dates in Orange County. Mid-March will see them venturing to the first of what is sure to be a spree of festivals for them this year with SXSW in Austin. This will be their second year playing the SX circuit, but with a few more gigs on their schedule. I caught up with Austin Hayman at Dear Boy’s Bardot gig a few weeks back. “We have a really crazy week at SX - we’re playing a whole bunch of shows, that’s going to be really fun!”

When asked if a record deal is on the horizon for 2015, Austin let me know that while they’ve had some good talks, they haven’t made a decision yet. “You have to be really selective about who you want to work with, especially with your first album because it can really make or break you.”

One of Dear Boy’s undeniable strengths is their ability to connect with their fans – both on stage and off. Sure, Ben Grey has mastered control of his brooding musician hair flip, to a point where it seems almost choreographed with the rest of the show. But they also definitely engage the audience in the show while on stage, making sure to wave at those fans that are in the crowd night after night. After the show it’s hard to pin any of them down, not because they’re busy with the after party or rushing to sneak out the back, but because they actually stop and talk to their fans. “One of the things we’re the most proud of is the community we’ve helped create amidst the congestion of LA,” shared Ben. “We’re all in this together and it’d be impossible to forget the people who have helped take us this far. We've been incredibly lucky.”

Find the latest updates on Dear Boy at http://www.dearboyofficial.com/